The most painful is the silence

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you wherever I go.
But I'm doin' it.
What hurts the most is being so close.
And having so much to say, to express and watching you walk away.
It's hard to force that smile when I see you while I'm alone.
Still harder, getting up, getting dressed, living with this remorse.
But I know if I could do it over.
I would trade, give away all the words that I kept in my heart.
Words I left unspoken.
I'm not afraid to cry every now and then.
Even though going on without you still upsets me.
There are days every now and again I pretend being ok.
But that's not what truly gets me.